Gone--A Novel about the Rapture by Edwin Lint. Chapter 1

Actual cover image. Need I say more?

A married couple sit down to a dinner of hamburgers and coffee at 6pm in Liverpool some time after what the Christians call "the Rapture".  Everything about that sounds awful.  First, why are you drinking coffee at 6pm?  Second, burgers--really?

"Their arms circled each other for several minutes, the tears of both mingling on Dan's chest."

Several minutes?  That's a long time, dude.  Just stand in your kitchen without your phone for three minutes.  Also, how are Dan's tears getting to his own chest?

Lint does not like commas and enjoys random capitalization.  He also doesn't know the difference between "calloused" and "callous".  Lint:

"Your calloused hand diddles your chicken until it vomits into a sock and shrivels back from your callous abuse."

All this before the second page.

He tries to make the characters sound smart.  For example, Karen says "from the standpoint of logic" somewhere in a sentence.  I'm guessing that Lint once heard someone smarter than he is use a similar phrase and he thought it would make his characters sound smarter.  It doesn't, Lint.

The couple kiss.  Karen's lips are described as salty.

"But I still say that something has happened which has no precedent, not even in the minds of science fiction writers."

Lint, you severely underestimate science fiction writers.

The characters comment that maybe "the President" will have more information.  I thought... they were in Liverpool?  If you meant Liverpool, NY, you need to fucking state that because most people are going to assume tea and crumpets, not semi-automatic weapons and obesity.

Suddenly, a cloaked figure appears in the doorway like a barefooted, snow-bitten ninja.

I looked for a snow-bitten ninja and found this.  This is better.

This figure seems to be one of their neighbors, named Veronica.  Despite that she has just randomly appeared in their kitchen barefoot in a grim reaper cloak and shivering, they are surprisingly calm about it.

Somewhere in the house a cat yowls makes a "blood-chilling ma-rawling" sound whatever that is.   Dan, the husband, goes to investigate and shoos the giant black cat out of the house.  He seems to think the cat can understand him, because he talks to it and points at the door.  The cat, being a cat, goes up the stairs.

The next time Veronica is mentioned, it is by nickname and at first, I had no idea that "Ronnie" was the same person as "Veronica".  Worse, Lint goes back to referring to her as "Mrs. Masterson".  At least be consistent!  What the hell, man?

So in dialogue, Dan says that they opened the door for Grim Reaper Ron (no mention of this but whatever) and that he thinks the cat got in that way.

Another example of Lint trying to be smart:

"The human intellect solves audio problems on the basis of association. Even the simple process of identifying a sound requires the retrieval of a previously-heard sound of known origin and the comparison of the former sound with the current one."

This is absolutely shit writing and completely useless to the narrative.  House of Leaves, you are not.

The sound this is referring to is some unearthly wailing noise.

The prose is littered with a few more useless facts that add nothing to the overall story, various info dumps, and finally Dan moves.  Karen sits down like a trained dog and bites her lip so hard she draws blood--that 50 Shades guy would have a heyday.

Dan gets his gun and heads toward the sound.  Liverpool, NY confirmed.

The prose right here is just bad.  The author uses passive voice consistently, orders sentences so that:  She does x and x because x rather than list things as they happen.  It's just bad, guys.

The cat crouches as if to pounce on Dan.

So Dan... shoots the cat.

"The cat's original trajectory was plotted to put his yellowed fangs and curved claws in deadly contact with Dan's throat. The two well-placed shots, however, marred the flight and the lifeless, bloody body thudded into Dan at the belt line."

That's what I mean by badly written prose by the way.  God, this is an action scene and it's indescribably dull.

Furthermore, it's a goddamn motherfucking cat, dude.

So, I think the implication is that the cat is demon-possessed and was the one making the weird noises?

Anyway, Dan sags into a chair after murdering a cat his arduous battle with a kitty-cat ferocious wild animal.  Life is so hard.